Sunday, September 24, 2017

What I Didn't Get at Berkeley

TL;DR There are some gaps in my education I wish were filled in, and they're not the ones you might expect.

Shameless Plug: I'm elsewhere on the Internet as well! I stream at this channel and upload shitty content at this channel. Okay, plug over.

So, I graduated in June of this year (GO BURRS), signalling the end of this stage of my education. I am now the proud owner of a degree in Integrative Biology (meaning... whatever you want, maaaan), with special and unofficial emphasis placed on community ecology and mycology. Obligatory joke about mushrooms, ha ha.

In the process of undergrad, I was exposed to a huge volume of information, and I haven't even forgotten all of it.; not immediately, anyway. I learned sterile technique, in spite of some of my lab partners' best efforts, and also how to do fun things like separate the various pigments from an organism once I've completely destroyed it and pretend I'm a forensics agent on CSI while running DNA (without the benefit of time-lapse cuts). "Volunteering" at Cal Day one day, I also got an exceptional introduction to the delicate art of handling crabs and anemones and such things (everybody else wanted to "have hands" that "worked" after volunteering and didn't want to get "cut up" or some goofy juvenile babble like that).

I could go on listing, but I think the idea is clear: while I've been at school, I've learned a surprising variety of skills in several different arenas, most of them in some way STEM-related. Another fairly shameless plug has to be inserted here: I can't imagine getting a scientific education of this caliber anywhere but at Berkeley. I'm sure the admissions department can give you a brochure with far better graphic design than I can lay out here, but in all seriousness, I can't imagine en environment for academia better than this one. The anecdote about walking accidentally into Nobel Laureates is mostly false, but I can tell you truly that moving around campus it's almost impossible to avoid running into the office of someone exceptionally competent in their field.

Regardless, I've received a complete and highly edifying education here, and I'm deeply grateful for it. During undergrad, I remember wondering what the purpose of the whole venture was, and I managed to convince myself a few times that I didn't have any useful skills. Now, in hindsight, I can clearly see that wasn't true; I was just surrounded by people with an equal number of skills and got adjusted to a new norm. Having graduated, I'm no longer plagued by a lack of confidence in my scientific abilities or anything like that. I've always loved science, and thought essentially that biology was a no-brainer field for me. I love thinking logically (caveat here, for obvious reasons) about problems and then solving them, and especially building a narrative framework about how the natural world works (more on that in future posts, probably).

My scientific education is of sterling caliber, although those who know me personally will know it doesn't matter (I'm still an idiot). Living in the STEM world all those four years, it rarely occurred to me to do anything else; I had a brief dalliance with anthropology, which ended in a great deal of rage and frustration on my part due to mostly clerical issues, but that was it. Biology was entirely sufficient to occupy my imagination and so on, and God knows I never suffered for a lack of things to read.

Having graduated now, what surprises me is how badly I miss the skills I don't have. Video editing, for instance, was never something I pursued, both because the technical know-how involved intimidated me and because I was never placed in the "artistic" box (more on that later, also), but now that I've tried it it's something I wish fervently I was better at. The same goes for drawing; again, something I was frankly instructed not to do, and when I started doodling between classes I discovered it's really fun. I suck, mind you, but that doesn't stop me from having a good time. In these arenas, I can't help wondering how much even a single class would have helped; I hear other people talk about the very basics, things that "everybody knows how to do," and have to Google the vocabulary used. Watching a favorite podcast of mine, for instance, I was astonished at my own lack of competence regarding film; it's not that I don't know anything, but there are tons and tons of little logical frameworks that it simply never occurred to me to think in until I heard someone else discussing them.

Movies are one of my favorite things to talk about (and during, I'm afraid; sorry, Rosa). And yet, here I am, not even considering the film as a piece of logic and trying to understand its theme, or puzzling out its plot holes, or considering the way it was shot, and on and on. A personal quest of mine is to be able to talk at least engage competently in the conversation about any subject that comes up (the phrase "Renaissance person" is so unbelievably far up its own ass at this point that I hesitate to use it, but that is an ideal of mine I try to at least pursue), and I would be a poor scientist indeed if I had to present my findings on film.

Programming was also never something I pursued, and I admit I'm kicking myself a little for it. I've always been good with languages, and it wasn't made clear to me that programming was essentially the science of talking to computers. I think it would have been a fascinating nexus of my interests to explore, where language and logical structure intersect, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you that programming is a marketable skill these days. Again, I was partly intimidated by the risk of failure, partly deterred by what I thought my "gifts" were, and partly cowed by my peers' horror stories about "fucking 61A," but I have to wonder. That's a strange motif of my life so far: I receive a perception from people I talk to, a cultural deterrent of some kind, regarding an activity, and I noodle myself out of ever trying it.

Years and years later, I will rediscover the subject by chance, and timidly extend a single fingertip into the pool, only to discover that the proverbial water is fine, and I really do love swimming after all. It calls to mind an anecdote from the distant past. I, or one of my brothers, was in a crib waiting through the day, as one does at the low single-digit ages. Growing bored, the small boy in question proceeded to use his tiny, cushy, hot-dog-like limbs to make the perilous vertical ascent and rappel down the crib to escape. Having done this, he then wandered into another room to greet my astonished and perhaps horrified mother with his mighty battlecry: "That wasn't so bad!"

Even in my short time here on Earth so far, I've encountered many, many situations that merited a "That wasn't so bad!"

Anyway, it's getting on toward dinnertime, and this post is long in the tooth, so I'll close with a few (hopefully) concise thoughts.

1. Despite how much I've learned, I want to learn more, and teach myself to do more new things. Maybe this is just how it is to be a person, and I'll always have this feeling of missing a skill, but I can't say for sure after so few years.

2. Berkeley's science programs are fantastic, but I would urge the undergrad in STEM to at least venture a little outside the safe, cushy, entirely-not-sterile-enough laboratory environment and indulge your creative side. Take a class in film, or literature, or whatever floats your boat, and I doubt you'll regret it.

3. We need more people in the humanities and the arts and so on. As a person who has experienced the "STEM ÜBER ALLES" culture firsthand (I even talked to a few computer science people and survived, would you believe), ignore that heap of shit. There's nothing less valid, or challenging, or worthwhile about the arts when compared to STEM. To bring it right down to the most mercenary level, I can also confirm for you that it is totally possible to do art as a job; it may be in the digital arts, as a video editor or graphic designer or whatever, but for God's sake stop telling people they have to do STEM to make money.

Okay, I think that's all my thoughts for now. I'd love to hear yours; are there any skills you wish you'd developed further, any sleeper talents you wish you'd explored, anything like that? Leave me a comment, or a message, or whatever. Have a wonderful rest of your day or night, as applicable C:

3 comments:

  1. Sometimes I wish I had learned to play an instrument. I know enough about music and different instruments that people occasionally ask me which one I play, and I always have to embarrassingly answer that I can't play any. But I look at people who play the piano or the cello or a crazy electric guitar solo and I'm afraid to even try because I'm afraid of sucking at it. I also feel like the awe and respect I have for musicians would be ruined if I suddenly learned all of their techniques and tricks; I would rather go on thinking "That guy is amazing, how the hell does he do that?!" than take some lessons and realize "Oh. That's actually not that hard to do." -Ate mo

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    1. Yeah, right? I'm like, afraid to be good at things, both afraid that I'll suck utterly and that I won't be THE BEST at whatever I'm trying. It's like if I went to Hogwarts and found out I was naturally talented at wand-making, but then I found out about the Ollivander family and went "AH NOPE FK IT I CAN DO REGULAR SPELLS INSTEAD."

      I don't think it's exactly like that, but yknow.

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