They count for everything, don't they? Job interviews, advocating a club or cause, introducing yourself to people. The world, especially in its current hyper-accelerated, five-second-sound-byte format, runs on snap decisions and decisive action. Time, after all, is money.
At Berkeley, I notice this especially among people self-listed as "pre-Haas" majors, people intending to go into the field of business. These folks actively try to give the best first impression they can, tailored to whichever person or group they're addressing. Almost all of them are enthusiastic, energetic, and interested in your conversation nearly to the point of rudeness. Outwardly, at least, this is the impression they want to give: driven, decisive, full of creative energy. This first impression is very important, because this may be the only conversation you ever have and they want to leave a positive imprint of themselves on the memories of all the people they can. Business is largely about connections with other people in business, after all.
Lots of other people invest heavily in their first impression, too. Haas just sprang to mind, because it's almost a universal unspoken policy there to be as outwardly charismatic and jovial as possible with people.
First impressions are important, no denying that, but there are also the second and third and eleventh impressions to think about. Certainly, an outward affect of enthusiasm and personability is helpful for leadership and "selling" whatever it is (products, your club, your friendship), and that's fine. It is not, however, the be-all end-all of personality.
Potential does not have to be expressed to be present. The quiet person writing in the little notebook at the back of the room has exactly the same potential for creativity as the hyperactive person jumping up to take over the class. The person in your group sitting back and silently isn't refusing to participate; they're probably observing and gathering information to formulate their own plan of how to proceed. It's also possible they're playing Flappy Bird, but benefit of the doubt for these examples.
First impressions, it must be noted, are also deliberate; people can project whatever they want to. An aura of confidence and charisma can be the visible positive aspect of deeply-seated arrogance or control issues. Outward energy can be the surface manifestation of hyperactivity or compulsive enthusiasm. Especially with people gifted in the area of interaction, first impressions are always, always, always to be taken with a grain of salt. Advertisers rely on your first impression, detached from thought. That's why modern advertisements are all so short. They saturate you with the one-two punch of "bleak grey negative current situation" and then "vibrant colorful positive potential of our product," usually combined with lots of cosmetically attractive people.
A whole ton of social pressure exists, urging everyone to be more "_____" (fill in with: charming, cosmetically pleasing, confident, tall, energetic, unique, further list of adjectives ad nauseam).
To all this, I reply: Y'know who maintained an outward aspect of charming, confident charisma? Ted Bundy.
TL;DR Read people's surfaces with a grain of salt.
No comments:
Post a Comment