UC Berkeley Stress Research and Health

A researcher at Berkeley recently found "new evidence that chronic stress predisposes the brain to mental illness."

Now, before I talk further, I want to clarify that I "ain't hatin'," as they say. Research into this sort of thing is important in the extreme, and the article is actually really interesting. It was just the tagline that gave me fits.

This researcher has found evidence that chronic stress increases the chances of developing an adverse mental condition. This is lovely, except for one little point of semantics.

Chronic stress is an adverse mental condition. The S in PTSD does not stand for Serenity, my fine sirs and madames. People cite all kinds of statistics about what kills people the most in the modern era; this study says it's smoking, this firm reports an epidemic of heart disease, that independent researcher has found something in Chicken McNuggets. I'm going to make this very simple for everybody.

It's stress. Whatever compulsive, destructive behavior it is that brings someone down, whatever genetic predisposition they might have had, whatever shape their brain assumed in later life, I will bet you dollars to doughnuts it was related to some sort of stress or pressure.

This feeds into the rest of today's talk.

Health. What an ugly word. In the words (and majestic accent) of Frank Fontaine: "Everybody wants this; everybody needs this." In terms of things people have worried about in recent America, I would rank health about second, following up a close tie between home loans, human rights, and Communist infiltration.

It bears mentioning that I've always been a healthy person habitually, taking care of myself to the best of my ability. Not intending to brag here, it's just an interest of mine.

What I thought I would do, then, is contribute to the huge-and-growing health debate with the following.

Disclaimer: The list is regarding things that "ordinary" people do, meaning people who work long hours and don't necessarily have a lot of gym time, and so seek dietary options.

Health: A List of Things that Unconditionally Do Not Work (in my experience)

1. Crash diets and deprivation-based approaches. If all you do is decide "I am no longer doing x," I can all but guarantee x will be the only thing on your mind until you cave. See also: Lent.
2. Synthetic food. This is conditional, but artificially-generated nutrients are generally no better for your body than the naturally-occurring ones. Also, preservatives are actually genuinely bad for you, despite the insistence of some that that's "hippie liberal pot-smokin' (Berkeley) garbage."
3. The Razzle-Dazzle 10-Minute Program(!!!). Anything that approaches you with a membership form, asking you for money in exchange for some guaranteed miracle, is either a) the seedy guy behind the gym offering you steroids or b) a straight-up, unadulterated scam. There's an entire field of professions designed to prey on your insecurity and sell you things. Have faith in yourself.
4. Any particular variety of berry. No, it does not matter if it was picked fresh on the banks of the Amazon.
5. A number-oriented mindset. I have a whole post's worth of things to say about numbers, but let me summarize: no number you can see on a scale matters. Your body's internal chemistry and composition is the root of physical health, and that's something that can change regardless of some... number. I shudder.
6. Worrying about your health. The above salespeople want you to do this, and in my opinion, almost nothing is worse for you. There's some research that stress regarding your weight actually directly affects your body chemistry (in our ancestral past, stress was associated with times of privation, so the body would naturally increase its fat and sugar retention. Look up evolutionary research about insulin-resistant diabetes in American Indians.). All types of things come at our bodies just by existing. For example, every person living on Earth is hit once per second per square inch of surface area by a high-energy ray from outer space. There are a huge number of phenomena like this that no one bothers to cite, mostly because that wouldn't help them sell yogurt.

TL;DR Stress is bad. Diet: Your body is fine. It can handle it. Relax.